A secret fear

I'm really not one for opening up to people other than my best friends, so lately I've found it... difficult to describe what I'm feeling. I had a boyfriend in Junior High, and let's just say it ended badly. Ok I'll tell you what happened. He cheated on me, I know it was only grade 8 but I was really attached to him. We liked each other for a year and if you were to see us now together... well that would be a miracle considering we do not talk whatsoever.

Even though it may not appear this way, I really do have a hard time trusting guys. It takes a lot for me to really express my feelings because the last time I did, I was used and hurt. So needless to say the person I am writing this for is the exact opposite of that other so called "boyfriend".

I'm sixteen years old, and there is a lot I have yet to experience, we won't go into detail but I'm sure you can guess where this is going. Every girl dreams about walking hand in hand with some cute boy in school and him walking her to classes and carrying her books. That's not me, I'm so anti PDA I can barely hug in public. My dad loves it because if any guy comes onto to me fast or anything I put up a force field. I definitely am trying to get out of my comfort zone and am trying to give out trust a little easier. I'm obviously not looking for Mr. Right at the moment, but seriously that day isn't far away. Lucky for me there is such thing as a respectful guy, because I happen to know one!:)

I hope this wasn't too lovey dovey for some people, and it really didn't go into much detail, but I'm sorta glad I got it off my chest? All I know is that I really need to forget about what happened in my horrible J-high years and focus on what's happening now.