Attempt #39678765261

I find that when I start things like this I have a  really hard time finishing them. I've had this blog a little over a year, and I'd be lucky if I could say I had close to 100 posts. Turns out I don't. Lately a lot of things have not gone my way. School is tough. No doubt about it. Friendships are tough. Being at home alone is tough. Being vice is tough. And don't even get me started on boys, because believe me those are tough too.

Oh and can I mention that for me, setting goals is also tough. I'm constantly thinking about what to do with my life. I'm graduating in almost 9 months and after summer, I need to be going to school. I am not the type of person that can do one thing everyday for the rest of my life. I need a little diversity to keep me going. My range of things to do have gone from being a hairdresser, to going to business school. To becoming a dental hygienist, and now I'm looking into an optomologist technician. I look at people who decided what they wanted to be when they hit Junior high and have stuck with that decision. I admire you so much. Every single woman in my family have been able to put their husbands through school with the jobs that they had earned. Why am I not the same way?

I'm not the type of person that just decides one day to become a nurse because I want to save lives. Nope not at all. I can't stand blood, and the thought of seeing a naked old person just gives me the creeps. And anything dental was never an option because the sight of someone pulling out their retainer puts me on the verge of puking every time. If you think about it, I've basically thrown out every medical opportunity there is for women.

So where does that leave me college wise? Good question, I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. I'm open to any suggestions? Seriously just throw them out there. My skills include, sandwich making, and picture taking. I'm quite good with people, and I can be quite persuasive. I'm a good typer, but an awful essay writer. I love kids, and sports. I basically just wrote a resume, now if only some multi-million dollar company would discover me and put me to work. if only life were that easy.

What I've learned in these past few months is that I need to start doing things that I'm not great at. For example: I went skating the other day. I was awful, not even lying. But the feeling afterwards of knowing that I tried and gave it my best shot was enough for me to realize that I'm not going to be great at everything. Trust me the list of things I'm good at is definitely shorter than the things I'm not good at. Making eye contact has always been difficult for me, because I just find it so awkward to stare deeply into someones eyes as they talk to you. I look at their hair instead, people tell me it makes them uncomfortable, so I'm trying to get better. Another example is dating. The one person I could see myself with I turned down, and though I'm not over him, he definitely got over me because facebook says so. It just makes me think that if I would have just tried to step out of my comfort zone and do something that I wasn't great at, I could have ended up happier and not been regretting my decision. If only...

Over and over again.

My pain is knowing I can't have you
Tell me does she look at you the way I do
Does she get the same big rush as you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush.
Tell me am I crazy or is this more than a crush...

Senior?

When did I get so old? Just yesterday I remember my first day of elementary. My mother dressed me up in a terrible plaid jumper and of course I'd slept with my hair in curlers. It was one big mess. First day of junior high, I dressed myself. But I can't really say it was much better than the jumper. Pink camouflage capris, and a grey t-shirt. What was I thinking? First day of high school, Pink shirt, white cardigan, and blue skinny jeans that were too big, and I had on wayyy too much make-up. I just can't get it right.

Tomorrow is my 17th birthday and I honestly don't know where the time went! I have one more year of high school then I'm off to college. School truly flies by right before your eyes. I really am excited for my senior year but I still have so many decisions to make with my life!

1. Career path
2. What university to attend
3. Whether to retake the ACT
4. Marriage?
5. Kids?

All of these things are creeping up with me and I don't know how to handle them! My cousin took me to the singles ward today, and at first I refused because I thought I was too young. But when I went I ran into someone who was only a year older than me. I am not old enough for this. I know age is only a number, and I always get told I look older than I am. But deep down I am still that 6 year old girl who spent every summer swimming at the pool and vacationing at echo lake. Things like boys, and what kind of car you drove didn't matter. Life changes right before your eyes, and unless you stop to think about it and enjoy it. It's gone.

Grandpa Brooks' Funeral- 10 years old

Dog show- 8 years old

I think I was ten in this.

Siblings! 12 years old

I used to never think I looked any different since I was little. I think I was wrong?

I never forgot

Roses are red, 

Her hair is gold,

I miss her so much,

Because my hands have nothing to hold.

-Anonymous

Summer time

I have had one of the most amazing summers so far! The other day I was thinking about all the fun things I have been able to do and it took me a second to realize how lucky I truly was!

I'm working in waterton again this summer so already I have it good! I'm living on my own with a great group of fun and amazing girls! I've gotten to know them really well and I enjoy them thoroughly!

Bailey and Maddie Powelson and I all decided to take a road trip down to Echo Lake for the July fourth fire works! We left on the fourth from waterton and got there that night. One of the highlights of my summer for sure! We ended up watching the fireworks on a tube in our swim suits at Mckenna's cabin it was amazing! Something I will never forget.

My brother has been out for almost two months now, and to be honest it hasn't really gone by that fast haha. But his letters are amazing. I expected him to change later on in his mission, but he's still in the MTC and already I can sense a change in him. Missions truly do bless everyone, not just the missionary. He leaves for Singapore in 13 days! That is so crazy to me!

So far summer has been amazing! The weather has been 3X as good as last summer! Work gets stressful at times, but the money is worth it. My best friend and I decided that before she leaves to Texas for school, that we needed to get some pictures of us so that we would always have them. So we were lucky enough to have Kelsey Pankhurst(an amazing photographer) take out pictures and here are just a few that she posted!

We had so much fun! It made me realize how much I love photography!

I was lucky enough to go on a double date with two of my best friends last night! Jordan wood and Brady Olsen! I could go on and on about these two, I love them both to pieces. I had the time of my life with them, and when Brades is around; there's never a dull moment. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends!

Obsessed

I am seriously obsessed with this song! Enjoy :)

Oh how I love them

Don't you just love awkward moments? I mean up until this year I avoided them like the plague but recently I have found myself enjoying them. Is that strange? Here's a few that I look back on and can't help but laugh about!

That awkward moment when:

-you make eye contact with someone for longer than normal

-you first kiss a boy

-you look disgusting in your subway outfit and a good looking boy comes in

-your stomach grumbles

-you catch somebody starring at you

-BP and I do our high five

-two good looking guys are fighting and you don't know who to root for haha

-I'm told I'm pretty good looking... for a 16 year old by someone who's 23

-people ask me about my statuses

-my skirt is see through

-that one time in mountain view my skirt was tucked into my underwear

-food comes out of my mouth when I talk

-people show PDA

-there's only you and someone else in the hall way and you're not sure if you should say hi, smile or just look away

-you first hold hands with a boy you like

-someone creepy compliments me

So I couldn't quite think of a picture to go along with this, so I tried to think of some of the awkwardest pictures that I have seen in my life. And this my blogger friends might be it. A few Christmases ago my family got our pictures taken. This was one of the ones that the photographer decided was a good choice pose wise. Every member in my family has a spouse accept James and I. Luckily we were cropped out of this picture but the photographer told everyone to kiss, and since everyone but James and I had someone to kiss we just sat off to the side of the picture and did an extremely awkward pose.

I find this picture absolutely hilarious, and weird at the same time. But it's awkward moments like these that we can look back on and do nothing but laugh!:)