Remember me?

So other than the fact my last post on here was from the beginning of grade 12, a lot has changed in my life. I'll save that for another time though, because today I've been inspired to talk about one of the most important people in my life; my mother.

I could sit here in this cafe and write about her and her accomplishments for hours, and that is no exaggeration. She is what I like to call a super mom. She is the reason they say women can multi-task. She is the glue in our family and is always putting our needs before her own.

Growing up and being the youngest I have to admit I was quite spoiled, I probably still am. My older siblings make sure to let me know quite often haha. When it came time for my brother to go off to college I was the last one left at home. It was always my mom, my dad and me. Some people may think this sounds lame but an ideal weekend, if I didn't have any sports events was sitting at home with my parents watching a movie and eating popcorn. We became so close and I was always open with them about everything. They were my best friends. After my dad got appointed as a judge and was asked to reside in Medicine Hat, a lot changed. Our house that used to have seven people in it, now had two. You could almost feel the emptiness as you walked in the door, it was usually very quiet and thanks to my mother it was always kept spotless and smelt delightful!

In my final year of high school a lot of things changed. I was really busy with school, being vice president and playing sports, that I found myself rarely being home. It's safe to say because of all the distractions going on in both of our lives, we lost a little bit of what we had. Every bit of advice she would give me I felt like she was trying to ruin my life because it wasn't always what I wanted to hear. I think basically any teenager can attest to that. I am not proud to admit that I was selfish, I thought only about my own life and never took into consideration what she might be going through. She had been there for me for 18 years, and I had a hard time stepping up to help her with the little things that took hardly any time at all.


You know that phrase that goes something like "you never know what you have until it's gone" ? Well that basically explains everything that is going through my head right at this moment. I participated in so many things throughout junior high and high school, and never once did I have to question whether or not my mother would be there to support me. She was always on time, she took it upon herself to help me in every which way she could. At the time I never realized or even acknowledged all that she had done for me, and is still doing. Living away from home has opened my eyes very wide as to how much my mom takes on just so someone else can be happy. She thrives off of the joy of others being healthy and having a good life. She packed lunches for six people for about 17 years. She got up early in the morning to make sure every family member was up to read scriptures and have family prayer, and we always knew there was a hot meal waiting for us. She taught us to have manners and to love our family more than anything, because eventually they will be the people we will be with forever. She taught us the meaning of service and sacrifice, and how important it is to get an education and how to work hard. She taught us the importance of the gospel, and what a blessing it is to have it in our  lives. She can decorate like a mad woman, and is good at anything she puts her mind to.She is absolutely gorgeous, and even at 53 years old has better style than I do. She is crazy adventurous which James, my dad and I will always envy. She had three jobs for my entire life and still to this day is working to provide for her home.

I know it's not mother's day, or her birthday, but I just needed to have my moment of bragging about how amazing my mother is. Every time she calls me now I can't wait to pick up the phone and talk to her, she is absolutely hilarious. She constantly updates me on her life, and she even told me she missed me. My life is complete haha. Not a day goes by I don't think about how lucky I am to have such an amazing role model and such an incredible example of selflessness in my life.

I love you momma, I hope you know how much your family loves and appreciates you, even though we drive you crazy sometimes. Thank you fro everything you've done, you are the best mother anyone could have.

Attempt #39678765261

I find that when I start things like this I have a  really hard time finishing them. I've had this blog a little over a year, and I'd be lucky if I could say I had close to 100 posts. Turns out I don't. Lately a lot of things have not gone my way. School is tough. No doubt about it. Friendships are tough. Being at home alone is tough. Being vice is tough. And don't even get me started on boys, because believe me those are tough too.

Oh and can I mention that for me, setting goals is also tough. I'm constantly thinking about what to do with my life. I'm graduating in almost 9 months and after summer, I need to be going to school. I am not the type of person that can do one thing everyday for the rest of my life. I need a little diversity to keep me going. My range of things to do have gone from being a hairdresser, to going to business school. To becoming a dental hygienist, and now I'm looking into an optomologist technician. I look at people who decided what they wanted to be when they hit Junior high and have stuck with that decision. I admire you so much. Every single woman in my family have been able to put their husbands through school with the jobs that they had earned. Why am I not the same way?

I'm not the type of person that just decides one day to become a nurse because I want to save lives. Nope not at all. I can't stand blood, and the thought of seeing a naked old person just gives me the creeps. And anything dental was never an option because the sight of someone pulling out their retainer puts me on the verge of puking every time. If you think about it, I've basically thrown out every medical opportunity there is for women.

So where does that leave me college wise? Good question, I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. I'm open to any suggestions? Seriously just throw them out there. My skills include, sandwich making, and picture taking. I'm quite good with people, and I can be quite persuasive. I'm a good typer, but an awful essay writer. I love kids, and sports. I basically just wrote a resume, now if only some multi-million dollar company would discover me and put me to work. if only life were that easy.

What I've learned in these past few months is that I need to start doing things that I'm not great at. For example: I went skating the other day. I was awful, not even lying. But the feeling afterwards of knowing that I tried and gave it my best shot was enough for me to realize that I'm not going to be great at everything. Trust me the list of things I'm good at is definitely shorter than the things I'm not good at. Making eye contact has always been difficult for me, because I just find it so awkward to stare deeply into someones eyes as they talk to you. I look at their hair instead, people tell me it makes them uncomfortable, so I'm trying to get better. Another example is dating. The one person I could see myself with I turned down, and though I'm not over him, he definitely got over me because facebook says so. It just makes me think that if I would have just tried to step out of my comfort zone and do something that I wasn't great at, I could have ended up happier and not been regretting my decision. If only...

Over and over again.

My pain is knowing I can't have you
Tell me does she look at you the way I do
Does she get the same big rush as you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush.
Tell me am I crazy or is this more than a crush...

Senior?

When did I get so old? Just yesterday I remember my first day of elementary. My mother dressed me up in a terrible plaid jumper and of course I'd slept with my hair in curlers. It was one big mess. First day of junior high, I dressed myself. But I can't really say it was much better than the jumper. Pink camouflage capris, and a grey t-shirt. What was I thinking? First day of high school, Pink shirt, white cardigan, and blue skinny jeans that were too big, and I had on wayyy too much make-up. I just can't get it right.

Tomorrow is my 17th birthday and I honestly don't know where the time went! I have one more year of high school then I'm off to college. School truly flies by right before your eyes. I really am excited for my senior year but I still have so many decisions to make with my life!

1. Career path
2. What university to attend
3. Whether to retake the ACT
4. Marriage?
5. Kids?

All of these things are creeping up with me and I don't know how to handle them! My cousin took me to the singles ward today, and at first I refused because I thought I was too young. But when I went I ran into someone who was only a year older than me. I am not old enough for this. I know age is only a number, and I always get told I look older than I am. But deep down I am still that 6 year old girl who spent every summer swimming at the pool and vacationing at echo lake. Things like boys, and what kind of car you drove didn't matter. Life changes right before your eyes, and unless you stop to think about it and enjoy it. It's gone.

Grandpa Brooks' Funeral- 10 years old

Dog show- 8 years old

I think I was ten in this.

Siblings! 12 years old

I used to never think I looked any different since I was little. I think I was wrong?

I never forgot

Roses are red, 

Her hair is gold,

I miss her so much,

Because my hands have nothing to hold.

-Anonymous

Summer time

I have had one of the most amazing summers so far! The other day I was thinking about all the fun things I have been able to do and it took me a second to realize how lucky I truly was!

I'm working in waterton again this summer so already I have it good! I'm living on my own with a great group of fun and amazing girls! I've gotten to know them really well and I enjoy them thoroughly!

Bailey and Maddie Powelson and I all decided to take a road trip down to Echo Lake for the July fourth fire works! We left on the fourth from waterton and got there that night. One of the highlights of my summer for sure! We ended up watching the fireworks on a tube in our swim suits at Mckenna's cabin it was amazing! Something I will never forget.

My brother has been out for almost two months now, and to be honest it hasn't really gone by that fast haha. But his letters are amazing. I expected him to change later on in his mission, but he's still in the MTC and already I can sense a change in him. Missions truly do bless everyone, not just the missionary. He leaves for Singapore in 13 days! That is so crazy to me!

So far summer has been amazing! The weather has been 3X as good as last summer! Work gets stressful at times, but the money is worth it. My best friend and I decided that before she leaves to Texas for school, that we needed to get some pictures of us so that we would always have them. So we were lucky enough to have Kelsey Pankhurst(an amazing photographer) take out pictures and here are just a few that she posted!

We had so much fun! It made me realize how much I love photography!

I was lucky enough to go on a double date with two of my best friends last night! Jordan wood and Brady Olsen! I could go on and on about these two, I love them both to pieces. I had the time of my life with them, and when Brades is around; there's never a dull moment. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends!

Obsessed

I am seriously obsessed with this song! Enjoy :)

Oh how I love them

Don't you just love awkward moments? I mean up until this year I avoided them like the plague but recently I have found myself enjoying them. Is that strange? Here's a few that I look back on and can't help but laugh about!

That awkward moment when:

-you make eye contact with someone for longer than normal

-you first kiss a boy

-you look disgusting in your subway outfit and a good looking boy comes in

-your stomach grumbles

-you catch somebody starring at you

-BP and I do our high five

-two good looking guys are fighting and you don't know who to root for haha

-I'm told I'm pretty good looking... for a 16 year old by someone who's 23

-people ask me about my statuses

-my skirt is see through

-that one time in mountain view my skirt was tucked into my underwear

-food comes out of my mouth when I talk

-people show PDA

-there's only you and someone else in the hall way and you're not sure if you should say hi, smile or just look away

-you first hold hands with a boy you like

-someone creepy compliments me

So I couldn't quite think of a picture to go along with this, so I tried to think of some of the awkwardest pictures that I have seen in my life. And this my blogger friends might be it. A few Christmases ago my family got our pictures taken. This was one of the ones that the photographer decided was a good choice pose wise. Every member in my family has a spouse accept James and I. Luckily we were cropped out of this picture but the photographer told everyone to kiss, and since everyone but James and I had someone to kiss we just sat off to the side of the picture and did an extremely awkward pose.

I find this picture absolutely hilarious, and weird at the same time. But it's awkward moments like these that we can look back on and do nothing but laugh!:)

I hope you like dancing in the rain

I absolutely love going on runs, and today I discovered that my new love is running in the rain! It's great because you can't tell if it's sweat or water on your face! I had a lot of time to think on my run today. My dad has been appointed as a judge in Medicine Hat, and has been living there in the week and driving home on the weekends. I think everyone can agree that that would suck, no?

I've been thinking a lot about it lately and it really is hard for my mom to be home alone all summer while my brother is on a mission, I'm working in Waterton, and my dad is gone for work. They promised me that we would stay in Cardston so that I could finish out my senior year here, but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth it. It's always been my dream to graduate from CHS just like every other member of my family did. But there is a lot I have to take into consideration about this whole situation:

-My mom is lonely

-My dad is constantly on the road

-I'll be playing for the Medicine Hat Kwahomies basketball team

-Starting my senior year at a new school that is twice the size of my previous one

-Going from a town where 80% of the people are mormon to where less than 40 are

-Moving from a small town to a big city

-Living in medicine hat...

-Leaving my friends

-Leaving the house I've been raised in

We'll have to see what ends up happening but my parents are sacrificing a lot for me to finish one year of school. Let's just say my school colors may go from blue and white to green and white within the next few months.

one week down

I may be the worst blogger there is, and there is no excuse accept for the fact that I'm lazy? Anyways... So much has happened in the past little while! There's a few things I cannot mention on here, so I'll skip to the things that I can talk about.

James is gone, yes it happened. I never thought this day would come. He has been gone for exactly one week. Last Wednesday my family and I had to get up at 3:15 in the morning in order to make it to the airport by 4:30 for James to get on the plane. After a stressfilled week of getting him ready for his mish it was time for him to board the plane.

We took him as far as we were aloud. I insisted on getting a picture with him as quickly as possible because knowing myself I knew the tears were going to pour out in about five seconds upon arrival of his drop off. Well five seconds wasn't even possible. We went to take the picture and before I knew it I couldn't hold it back, so many memories of him and I flowed through my head and it finally hit me that my best friend would be leaving me for two years. We said our goodbyes, and I saw him walk through that gate knowing that I'd miss him, but also that there's a reason that he had been called to Singapore. My dad told James to call us and let us know once he'd made it through customs just so we'd know that he was alright. I was expecting him to call either my mom or dad, but about fifteen minutes later my phone started to ring, it was James. Just hearing him made my eyes well up with tears. In case no one realized my brother and I are extremely close. Anywas so he proceeds to tell me how everything went smoothly and he was alright, then the part that killed me was when he said, I love you Hales, and I'm going to miss you.

I could not have asked for a better brother. Today it has officially been a week since he's left. One week down, only 103 to go! My sister got an email from him last night, yes I was a little jealous until I found out that James had written me a letter instead! I was literally screaming and jumping for joy when I found out. The only down side is that letters from Uath take frickin forever to get here, but I can wait!

I know James is going to be an amazing missionary and I'm so excited for him and the opportunit he has to go out and serve the Lord! :)

just for you

This post is by request:

One of my best friends was feeling a little down because no one ever talks about him on their blogs. Well Aust here ya go.

Where do I start with him? We've known each other since we were little tikes. We've been in the same ward for a lot of years now. This boy has a certain personality that only his friends and family could love haha. He's truly a nice boy and is a great athlete. And I think we dated for a week in grade seven.

Sometimes he's bites you though, and he used to call me stink bum for some unknown reason. I seriously love being around him, he's always one to lighten the mood, and even make it awkward at times. I love this boy to death and he one of my closest friends.

I always enjoy our random deep conversations about relationships and life. I'm extremely jealous of how well he does in english, It's effortless to him. He has a secret crush on my best friend;) him Aaron and Dallin are hilarious together and I can never get enough of all of them. 

These pictures were taken before a party in October. Don't they look like a good time? I love my best friends. I am truly fortunate to have such amazing people in my life.

two posts in one day?

Here's all of my emotions in one long phrase:

Icannotfindmyfavoritepairofskinnyjeansormypencilskirtormyfavoriteblackcardiganandmyfavoritepairofflatsarenowrippedandiamunabletowearthem!

Lately I've found that my wardrobe has been so boring with out these items.

That's not the only thing that's on my mind... the Bio challenge is killing me! I must admit I am addicted to facebook. It's a little bit ridiculous. Even if there is nothing new I can find myself wasting time on that stupid website. What is wrong with me?

I've already gone through no facebook week but I had my cellphone. This week I have neither. I have completely vanquished from the social networking world. And to be honest I am going through withdraws. 

So watch out facebook world, because when I get back on there prepare yourselves to be creeped!

Fairly unusual

So not very often do I ever read(other then the scriptures) but for english we do these extra credit reading booklets, and if anyone knows me they'll know that I need all the extra credit I can get! Especially in english. So I picked up this lovely book the other day:

It's seriously so cute! I would advise people to read it. The story reminds me a lot of my own life in some ways and in others its not even close. I don't mind a good read, I mean I went through the Twilight faze and Series of Unfortunate Events faze in elementary but other than that I'll read a book maybe every six months? Sad I know.

So my new goal is to always be reading a book, it won't be easy but no goal ever is.

HELL WEEK

Excuse me for the title...

So I'm sure everyone knows that Bio is possibly the funnest and most interesting class especially with Janisko, but being in bio 20 you have the opportunity to take part in the Bio Challenge. The challenge consists of no pop throughout the whole semester and there is a new challenge every week. Like no cell phones, or no facebook ect..

But this week is we hit the half way point in the semester which means we have one of the toughest weeks of the challenge, Hell Week. This weeks challenge is:

1. No Facebook
2. No cellphone
3. No ipod/itouch/ipad
4. No gum
5. No deep fried food
6. No chocolate
7. No ice cream
8. No ketchup
9. Must wear mismatched socks everyday
10. Must give a parent a 5 min hand massage/ hand with lotion
11. Must wear coloured shirts:
Tuesday- Blue
Wednesday- Red
Thursday- Orange
Friday- Yellow
Monday- Green
12. Must give $2 to a stranger
13. EAT 1 WHOLE BANANA
14. Only 24 minutes of TV/day

To some you may think, how hard could it be? It's hard! They're just simple things that you are always used to having and you would never think twice about. Before I eat anything I have to scan this whole list to make sure that it's not carbonated, or deep fried, or has ketchup or ice cream in it. There is so many different things floating around in my brain and I have to constantly be concentrating on doing none of the above.

The no cell phone might be one of the hardest. Not because I'm addicted to texting or anything like that, but because people are constantly on their phones. You cannot look at a phone, tell someone to call someone from a cell phone, or tell them to text someone. If you do, you are out.

BUT the most difficult one would have to be the eating of the banana. Mr. Janisko specifically knew my hate for those gross yellow things, and decided that we needed to eat one this week. Everyone in the challenge likes them... except me. Coincidence? I think not. I have a good reason as to why I dislike them so much. When we were on our way to Echo Lake for a fam vacation, James and I were sitting in the back seat, and he had just downed a butt load of banana cream pie. Well he gets a little... woozy when we go over the mountain and I was so young it didn't even faze me as to why no one else would sit by James in the back seat. I now know why. He ended up throwing up all of that banana cream pie all over me! Ever since then I cannot stand the smell, or even the way people chew them.

In case anyone was wondering you do get a prize for completing this challenge. But they are unknown. My brother did it and I want to too. It definitely won't be easy but I know I can do it!

Sweet sunshine

Summer: Please come soon, don't take too long, and please be good to me.

School: Please end, soon!

August: Please don't come too fast and take my best friend away from me.

Bucket lists are great.. that is if you use them. I wrote one for english and never really put any thought into it just kinda threw it all together to get the mark. BUT this summer I will fulfill mine and Bailey's summer bucket list!

There is way too many things to write them all plus I can't remember them, but some of the main ones are:

1. Start a bike gang

2. Work every shift together

3. Snorkel in Waterton Lake

4. Hike AT LEAST once a week

5. Go canoeing

6. Egg Wiener's of Waterton

7. Take soo many pictures

8. Make tons of new friends

9. Conquer Bear's hump

10. Spend every minute possible together!

Last summer we didn't really start to do anything proactive until the end, but this year we're starting off with a bang! I can't express how pumped I am for summer, but all I can say is that I'm sooo fortunate to be able to work side by side with my bestie!:)

one month and a half

May 25th please do NOT hurry and come. I have a love-hate relationship with this day, this is the day that I will become brotherless for two years. Yes James is leaving to Singapore in a month and a half! Luckily he'll be home for a month before he leaves, but seriously that is no time at all.

I think we're tighter than most siblings, we're three years apart and I am so grateful for his example. Never once has he refused to help me with something, our personalities are ones that only we understand. We watch things that others would find to be so stupid, but we love it for some reason? He looks out for me, supports me, and loves me. He truly is an amazing person, we're alike in so many ways, and I'm starting to realize it more and more each day.

We share so many of the same likes and dislikes, when I was in Junior High some people hated how much I would talk about him, but he's my best friend who else could I talk about? They honestly told me, "so and so doesn't like you because of how much you talk about your brother." Seriously? Is it that big of an issue?

I would rather be around James than anyone else, I will cancel plans if I know he is coming home. I'm going to miss him more than anyone could ever know. Is it selfish to say that I'm not excited for him to leave? I haven't been able to get this off of my mind ever since he got his call, it just became so real. I will be losing him for two years. Imagine what losing the closest person to you would feel like, that's how I'm feeling right now.

First photobooth picture!

Last time he'll be at Echo for two years!

I love my brother so much, and I will miss him, but I know that he's going to serve the lord, and that he's been called to Singapore for a reason. He's going to tower over everyone there, and I know I need to share him with others. JB you're going to be an amazing missionary, and thank you for all you do for me. Love you.

Favorite picture ever! James and I at his grad:)

A secret fear

I'm really not one for opening up to people other than my best friends, so lately I've found it... difficult to describe what I'm feeling. I had a boyfriend in Junior High, and let's just say it ended badly. Ok I'll tell you what happened. He cheated on me, I know it was only grade 8 but I was really attached to him. We liked each other for a year and if you were to see us now together... well that would be a miracle considering we do not talk whatsoever.

Even though it may not appear this way, I really do have a hard time trusting guys. It takes a lot for me to really express my feelings because the last time I did, I was used and hurt. So needless to say the person I am writing this for is the exact opposite of that other so called "boyfriend".

I'm sixteen years old, and there is a lot I have yet to experience, we won't go into detail but I'm sure you can guess where this is going. Every girl dreams about walking hand in hand with some cute boy in school and him walking her to classes and carrying her books. That's not me, I'm so anti PDA I can barely hug in public. My dad loves it because if any guy comes onto to me fast or anything I put up a force field. I definitely am trying to get out of my comfort zone and am trying to give out trust a little easier. I'm obviously not looking for Mr. Right at the moment, but seriously that day isn't far away. Lucky for me there is such thing as a respectful guy, because I happen to know one!:)

I hope this wasn't too lovey dovey for some people, and it really didn't go into much detail, but I'm sorta glad I got it off my chest? All I know is that I really need to forget about what happened in my horrible J-high years and focus on what's happening now.

just an ordinary afternoon

Yes in case anyone was wondering I did change the name of my blog! I feel like this title suits me a lot more now and makes me feel like I can be more... open about everything.

I would just like to express everything I'm feeling right now to somebody, because my best friend is sick at home with a form of measles!

I LOVE:
photography, piano, friends, Jimmer, that tomorrow is a P.d. day, that one of my favorite things to do is sleep, pasta, dance central, letters,when James comes home, cruising in the mini, high school, lunch time;), hugs, smiling, laughing loudly, beating raymond in sports, love poems, the fact that basketball season has come to a close, and the feeling of spring in the air!

I HATE:
how far away Idaho is, how there's no service out there, awkward people, PDA, how I'm not sure what I'm doing this summer, homework, social 30...-2 haha, winter, pop, reactions for the MMR shot, mud, having no money, stop signs, being a giraffe, acne, not being able to go on facebook, people who are intentionally dumb, players, seafood, being so untanned, being out of shape, waking up in the morning, and long weekends...

This is LOVE

So I have a serious love for the band Jamestown Story, but unfortunately Frostwire hardly carries any of their songs! And I am too cheap to buy them off of Itunes, but I would just like to let you all know that their new album Find A Way is absolutely amazing!

Their songs Always seem to be able to cheer me up no matter what mood I am in. I could go on and on about how great they are but I thought I would just share a favorite song instead:)

the phone isn't the fire alarm

Dear readers, only those who have experienced this situation will appreciate what I am about to say:

Remember 
when she would run in circles around the table when she was excited?
 when one would run to the bathroom with the phone, and the other would grab her?
 when Mom would never let her stay in the house while we were at school?
 how she would always sleep underneath James' dresser drawers?
 how she could never jump on top of mom and dad's bed?
 how she was afraid of the lion from the cereal box off of Narnia?
 how she would always sit in the drivers seat when we left her in the vehicle?
how she thought the phone was a fire alarm?
when she would poop and we would quickly clean it up before mom got home?
how she would run from whitney when she would mention bath time?
how much she loved every single one of us?
how James called her "fat mod"?
when we would walk her, it was called a drag instead of a walk?
how fat she was for such a tiny animal?

Yes in case anyone was wondering I am talking about my dog, her name was Molly, she was a shelty dog, and only a family like ours could've loved her. She barked at the phone thinking it was a fire alarm; she was trained for the deaf. We loved her because she was different, she wasn't any regular dog, she hated going on walks, and hated dog food. Though she did play fetch, she was so fat she could barely run. She was so loyal and a few times we lost her, I had never been so devastated in my life.

I remember one time walking home from school I had just hit my head on a rake(never step on a rake, it hurts quite a bit) I was crying and she knew something was wrong, she ran right up to me and started jumping knowing that I was hurt. We always left her in the garage when we would go places and I will always remember the excitement on her little face as we would open the garage and she would run out always ecstatic to see us!

She was one of the only pets I have ever had, and may I say she was a great one. We had her for about seven years, she was apart of the family. She started to get seizures later on and would always run into things, unfortunately she was suffering and we had no choice but to put her down. Next to a human's death the day she died was one of the saddest days of my life.

I don't know what made me decide to write this; perhaps it's because my best friend just got a new dog. My family will occasionally bring Molly up and I have to admit, it sometimes brings us to tears. She was a segment of my life that I will never be able to have back, and never be able to forget.