Remember me?

So other than the fact my last post on here was from the beginning of grade 12, a lot has changed in my life. I'll save that for another time though, because today I've been inspired to talk about one of the most important people in my life; my mother.

I could sit here in this cafe and write about her and her accomplishments for hours, and that is no exaggeration. She is what I like to call a super mom. She is the reason they say women can multi-task. She is the glue in our family and is always putting our needs before her own.

Growing up and being the youngest I have to admit I was quite spoiled, I probably still am. My older siblings make sure to let me know quite often haha. When it came time for my brother to go off to college I was the last one left at home. It was always my mom, my dad and me. Some people may think this sounds lame but an ideal weekend, if I didn't have any sports events was sitting at home with my parents watching a movie and eating popcorn. We became so close and I was always open with them about everything. They were my best friends. After my dad got appointed as a judge and was asked to reside in Medicine Hat, a lot changed. Our house that used to have seven people in it, now had two. You could almost feel the emptiness as you walked in the door, it was usually very quiet and thanks to my mother it was always kept spotless and smelt delightful!

In my final year of high school a lot of things changed. I was really busy with school, being vice president and playing sports, that I found myself rarely being home. It's safe to say because of all the distractions going on in both of our lives, we lost a little bit of what we had. Every bit of advice she would give me I felt like she was trying to ruin my life because it wasn't always what I wanted to hear. I think basically any teenager can attest to that. I am not proud to admit that I was selfish, I thought only about my own life and never took into consideration what she might be going through. She had been there for me for 18 years, and I had a hard time stepping up to help her with the little things that took hardly any time at all.


You know that phrase that goes something like "you never know what you have until it's gone" ? Well that basically explains everything that is going through my head right at this moment. I participated in so many things throughout junior high and high school, and never once did I have to question whether or not my mother would be there to support me. She was always on time, she took it upon herself to help me in every which way she could. At the time I never realized or even acknowledged all that she had done for me, and is still doing. Living away from home has opened my eyes very wide as to how much my mom takes on just so someone else can be happy. She thrives off of the joy of others being healthy and having a good life. She packed lunches for six people for about 17 years. She got up early in the morning to make sure every family member was up to read scriptures and have family prayer, and we always knew there was a hot meal waiting for us. She taught us to have manners and to love our family more than anything, because eventually they will be the people we will be with forever. She taught us the meaning of service and sacrifice, and how important it is to get an education and how to work hard. She taught us the importance of the gospel, and what a blessing it is to have it in our  lives. She can decorate like a mad woman, and is good at anything she puts her mind to.She is absolutely gorgeous, and even at 53 years old has better style than I do. She is crazy adventurous which James, my dad and I will always envy. She had three jobs for my entire life and still to this day is working to provide for her home.

I know it's not mother's day, or her birthday, but I just needed to have my moment of bragging about how amazing my mother is. Every time she calls me now I can't wait to pick up the phone and talk to her, she is absolutely hilarious. She constantly updates me on her life, and she even told me she missed me. My life is complete haha. Not a day goes by I don't think about how lucky I am to have such an amazing role model and such an incredible example of selflessness in my life.

I love you momma, I hope you know how much your family loves and appreciates you, even though we drive you crazy sometimes. Thank you fro everything you've done, you are the best mother anyone could have.

Attempt #39678765261

I find that when I start things like this I have a  really hard time finishing them. I've had this blog a little over a year, and I'd be lucky if I could say I had close to 100 posts. Turns out I don't. Lately a lot of things have not gone my way. School is tough. No doubt about it. Friendships are tough. Being at home alone is tough. Being vice is tough. And don't even get me started on boys, because believe me those are tough too.

Oh and can I mention that for me, setting goals is also tough. I'm constantly thinking about what to do with my life. I'm graduating in almost 9 months and after summer, I need to be going to school. I am not the type of person that can do one thing everyday for the rest of my life. I need a little diversity to keep me going. My range of things to do have gone from being a hairdresser, to going to business school. To becoming a dental hygienist, and now I'm looking into an optomologist technician. I look at people who decided what they wanted to be when they hit Junior high and have stuck with that decision. I admire you so much. Every single woman in my family have been able to put their husbands through school with the jobs that they had earned. Why am I not the same way?

I'm not the type of person that just decides one day to become a nurse because I want to save lives. Nope not at all. I can't stand blood, and the thought of seeing a naked old person just gives me the creeps. And anything dental was never an option because the sight of someone pulling out their retainer puts me on the verge of puking every time. If you think about it, I've basically thrown out every medical opportunity there is for women.

So where does that leave me college wise? Good question, I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. I'm open to any suggestions? Seriously just throw them out there. My skills include, sandwich making, and picture taking. I'm quite good with people, and I can be quite persuasive. I'm a good typer, but an awful essay writer. I love kids, and sports. I basically just wrote a resume, now if only some multi-million dollar company would discover me and put me to work. if only life were that easy.

What I've learned in these past few months is that I need to start doing things that I'm not great at. For example: I went skating the other day. I was awful, not even lying. But the feeling afterwards of knowing that I tried and gave it my best shot was enough for me to realize that I'm not going to be great at everything. Trust me the list of things I'm good at is definitely shorter than the things I'm not good at. Making eye contact has always been difficult for me, because I just find it so awkward to stare deeply into someones eyes as they talk to you. I look at their hair instead, people tell me it makes them uncomfortable, so I'm trying to get better. Another example is dating. The one person I could see myself with I turned down, and though I'm not over him, he definitely got over me because facebook says so. It just makes me think that if I would have just tried to step out of my comfort zone and do something that I wasn't great at, I could have ended up happier and not been regretting my decision. If only...

Over and over again.

My pain is knowing I can't have you
Tell me does she look at you the way I do
Does she get the same big rush as you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush.
Tell me am I crazy or is this more than a crush...

Senior?

When did I get so old? Just yesterday I remember my first day of elementary. My mother dressed me up in a terrible plaid jumper and of course I'd slept with my hair in curlers. It was one big mess. First day of junior high, I dressed myself. But I can't really say it was much better than the jumper. Pink camouflage capris, and a grey t-shirt. What was I thinking? First day of high school, Pink shirt, white cardigan, and blue skinny jeans that were too big, and I had on wayyy too much make-up. I just can't get it right.

Tomorrow is my 17th birthday and I honestly don't know where the time went! I have one more year of high school then I'm off to college. School truly flies by right before your eyes. I really am excited for my senior year but I still have so many decisions to make with my life!

1. Career path
2. What university to attend
3. Whether to retake the ACT
4. Marriage?
5. Kids?

All of these things are creeping up with me and I don't know how to handle them! My cousin took me to the singles ward today, and at first I refused because I thought I was too young. But when I went I ran into someone who was only a year older than me. I am not old enough for this. I know age is only a number, and I always get told I look older than I am. But deep down I am still that 6 year old girl who spent every summer swimming at the pool and vacationing at echo lake. Things like boys, and what kind of car you drove didn't matter. Life changes right before your eyes, and unless you stop to think about it and enjoy it. It's gone.

Grandpa Brooks' Funeral- 10 years old

Dog show- 8 years old

I think I was ten in this.

Siblings! 12 years old

I used to never think I looked any different since I was little. I think I was wrong?

I never forgot

Roses are red, 

Her hair is gold,

I miss her so much,

Because my hands have nothing to hold.

-Anonymous

Summer time

I have had one of the most amazing summers so far! The other day I was thinking about all the fun things I have been able to do and it took me a second to realize how lucky I truly was!

I'm working in waterton again this summer so already I have it good! I'm living on my own with a great group of fun and amazing girls! I've gotten to know them really well and I enjoy them thoroughly!

Bailey and Maddie Powelson and I all decided to take a road trip down to Echo Lake for the July fourth fire works! We left on the fourth from waterton and got there that night. One of the highlights of my summer for sure! We ended up watching the fireworks on a tube in our swim suits at Mckenna's cabin it was amazing! Something I will never forget.

My brother has been out for almost two months now, and to be honest it hasn't really gone by that fast haha. But his letters are amazing. I expected him to change later on in his mission, but he's still in the MTC and already I can sense a change in him. Missions truly do bless everyone, not just the missionary. He leaves for Singapore in 13 days! That is so crazy to me!

So far summer has been amazing! The weather has been 3X as good as last summer! Work gets stressful at times, but the money is worth it. My best friend and I decided that before she leaves to Texas for school, that we needed to get some pictures of us so that we would always have them. So we were lucky enough to have Kelsey Pankhurst(an amazing photographer) take out pictures and here are just a few that she posted!

We had so much fun! It made me realize how much I love photography!

I was lucky enough to go on a double date with two of my best friends last night! Jordan wood and Brady Olsen! I could go on and on about these two, I love them both to pieces. I had the time of my life with them, and when Brades is around; there's never a dull moment. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends!

Obsessed

I am seriously obsessed with this song! Enjoy :)